The Retarded Journey to well, where?
by xXxMidnightMoonxXx
Summary: Sakura, Sasuke, and I are traveling somewhere, but on the way they annoy me so they get tied up in the 4th dimension. Where is Naruto? Eating cheese in Konoha. God, I suck at summaries...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, fire trucks, or apples committing suicide.

Naomi: "Hello guys! This is my first fanfic so please be nice to me and review!"

Naruto: "No!"

Naomi: "DON'T SAY NO TO ME!!!" –Punches Naruto until he's bleeding violently-

Naruto: "Uggh"

Chapter 1

Close your eyes, imagine you are in Kon- HEY! CLOSE YOUR EYES! Thank you! Gosh! everybody hates me! –Stomps off and punches Neji for no good reason. Hey come on he's fun to punch!!!-

Akina: "Ladidadida ACK! -trips over Neji- BAKA! -beats Neji up into a bloody pulp- SUCKER!"

**In Konoha**

Naruto: "Where am I?"

Naomi: "Your town, baka!" –Chucks a purple flower at Naruto-

Naruto: "OWIE!"

Naomi: "It was a flower dork!"

Sasuke: "Yeah, it was only a flower."

Naomi: "Shut up! I wasn't talking to you!"

Sasuke: "Whatever."

Just then, Sakura walks by and kisses Sasuke on the cheek. He kisses her back, except on the lips (yes, Sakura and Sasuke are in a relationship now). Naruto is watching intently with a look of anger in his eyes. You all know he has a crush on her!

Sakura: Sasuke?

Sasuke looks up from Sakura's face after kissing her on the neck.

Sasuke: "Hmm?"

Sakura: "Do you know what my wildest dreams are?"

Sasuke: "Umm no, not really, but mine are to kill Itachi, my brother as you know, the one who killed the Uchiha clan including my parents."

Sakura: "Do you want to know what my wildest dreams are?"

Naruto: -imitating Sakura- "Oh Sasuke! Don't you want to know what my wildest dreams are baby?"

Sakura: "Shut up!!!"

Naomi: "Sakura, Naruto is just a little boy, don't use that kind of language in front of him! He doesn't know what it means!"

Naruto is looking very confused and looking up at the sky, singing about Little Bunny FuFu.

Sakura: "But, but, bu-"

Naomi: "NO BUTS!!!"

Poor Sakura, she is now running to Sasuke for help (what a wimp!!!). She whispers something in his ear and he nods his head in agreement. Naruto is looking all stupid and thinking about which type of ramen to eat today.

Naruto: "Hey Naomi? Which should I have today, miso ramen or regular ramen?"

Naomi: "Neither."

Naruto: "Why not?!"

Naomi: "Cause you gots a mission today."

Just then, Sasuke is leaping out at Naruto from behind with a kunai. Naruto is still arguing about not having ramen while all this is happening. Sakura is um uh hmm well, I guess she's trying to do a summersault, but it isn't working. Why she is doing a summersault I do not know, SO DON'T ASK ME!!!  Hey, look at the smiley face!

Naomi: "No, no, no Sasuke bad doggie! We have to go somewhere today so you need to be good! Sakura, you can come too. Naruto, you stay here and eat cheese."

Naruto: "Can I eat ramen instead?"

Naomi: "No, Naruto, you are eating cheese."

Naruto: "Can I eat cheese and ramen?"

Naomi: -sighs- "First eat all of the cheese in Konoha, and then you can have your ramen."

Naruto: "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" –breaks down sobbing a river or was it crying a river?-

**A/N: I hoped you liked it! Oh! You can give me ideas if you want. I just might use them.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own a squat.

Naomi: "ih, I ma gnitirw sdrowkcab!!! Yrt ot edoced ti!!!"

Naruto: "Huh?"

Naomi: "You don't understand anything do you?"

Naruto: "Uhhhh." –starts drooling and it forms a little creek-

Naomi: "Nice."

Chapter 2

Where we last left team 7 (not including Kakashi), Sakura, Sasuke, and I were about to go somewhere. Where is Naruto you ask? He's staying home and eating cheese. Why cheese and not ramen? Cause I'm making him eat cheese that's why! Why do apples look like cows? Wait, what?

Naomi: "Ok, Sasuke, Sakura, lets go!"

Sakura: "Where are we going?"

Naomi: "It's a secret."

Sasuke: "Where are we going?"

Naomi: "It's a secret."

Sakura: "Where are we go-"

Naomi: "SHUDDUP!!!!!" –punches the two of them to the fourth dimension-

**In the 4th dimension**

We are now in the fourth dimension. Sakura looks scared and grabs Sasuke's arm. (I followed them if you didn't know) Naomi is now rolling her eyes at the two lovebirds.

Naomi: "Come on let's go already!"

Sasuke: "Fine"

Sakura: "Sorry, Naomi"

Naomi: "Apples and bananas are a lot like a green ballo- NARUTO!!!"

Naruto: "What?"

Naomi: "GIVE ME THE REAL SCRIPT!!!"

Naruto: "You have to say the magic word!"

Naomi: "NO!!! THIS IS MY STORY!!! YOU AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS DIMENSION!!!" –steals back the real script (which he stupidly held in his grubby hands) and throws Naruto back in his dimension. Wow, I'm that strong?-

Sakura and Sasuke are really scared now, especially seeing me throw Naruto back to his dimension. They are now gripping onto each other for dear life. Those poor, poor, souls. Maybe I should tell them I can still beat 'em up even if they are little girls in tutus.

Sasuke: "I'm a girl?"

Sakura: "DON'T INSULT HIM LIKE THAT!!!!"

Naomi: "Do you want me to rip out your intestines?"

Sasuke and Sakura: "NNNNNOOOOO!!!!! MMMMMOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!"

Naomi: "Losers."

Akina: -scoffs- "More like SUCKERS!" - walks away chewing bubble gum, STRAWBERRY bubble gum to be exact-

Now that Sasuke and Sakura finally learned it's a good idea to obey me, they've decided to just follow along. I won't really rip out their intestines or will I? Naw, probably not. Well, maybe I will. What will Naruto do? Oh I know, eat ramen the rest of his life and cry over it cause Sakura is now in the hospital because of me. I want a pet rock named Hugh. Or maybe Ursula?

Sasuke: "So, is this where we are going?"

Naomi: "Maybe yes, maybe no, but I just think you are a shmoe. Hey! It rhymes!"

Sakura: "Tell us where we are going!"

Naomi: "Fine, do you really wanna know?"

Sasuke: "Yes!"

Naomi: "You really, really wanna know?"

Sakura: "Yes!!"

Naomi: "We are going somewhere."

Sasuke: "But where?"

Naomi: "Here, there, in your underwear. ANOTHER RHYME!!!"

Sasuke: "Hey, that part is off-limits!"

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you what the 4th dimension looks like! Well lets see, It looks different to everybody, sorta like the Mirror of Erised in Harry Potter. (this sentence may have helped you with the line under the disclaimer) To me it is a place with horses, candy, and lighting everywhere. It sorta reminds me of my grandpa! Oh yeah, good old Grandpa Bob. Sorry, I guess I spaced out again. To Sasuke, this dimension has scenes of him killing Itachi in a horrible death and pictures of little sugar plum fairies. Sakura sees little pictures of her and the love of her life having fun together. She also can see a Merry-Go-Round or a carousal if you prefer.

**A/N: I have a confesion to make, I don't even know where they are going! Oh well, I'll think of something...**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Ditto.

Naomi: Naruto is a baka.

Naruto: "Who???"

Naomi: Naruto is a baka.

Naruto: "I'M NOT THE BAKA, YOU ARE!!!"

Naomi: Naruto is a baka.

Naruto: "Grrr… KAGE BUNSHUN NO JUTSU" –creates replicates of himself-

Naomi: Naruto is a ba- uh, I mean, MEEP! –runs like no tomorrow-

oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo

Chapter 3 

In the last chapter, wait… why am I telling you this? You should already know! Well anyway, let us move on.

Haku: "Here are your pink bunny slippers, Zabuza-san."

Naomi: HAKU! What did I tell you about interfering with my story?

Haku: "Sorry, Naomi-chan, please forgive me."

Naomi: Eh, I'll only forgive you if you bake me cookies.

Haku: "Right away, Naomi-chan."

Sasuke: "Why is HE here? I thought Kakashi killed him off."

Naomi: He's cool! So I brought him back to life with this 'Bring People Back to Life Thingy-ma-bob' I sto- uh, I mean bought from Akina.

Sakura: "Cool!"

Naomi: Yeah, it also has a reverse button that kills anyone at any given moment.

Sasuke: "GIMMIE!"

Naomi: Why would I give it to you?

Sasuke: "I want to bring the entire Uchiha clan back, and kill Itachi."

Naomi: Maybe later I'll give it to you.

Sasuke: "Hn…"

Naomi: Alright guys, we're here!

Uh, oopsies. I forgot to add a part… We all got out of the fourth dimension, somehow. Okay, okay, I surrender! We got out by using new Timbuktuian (I made that word up myself. Yea me!) technologies.

Sakura: "Uh, isn't this place a little young for us?"

Sasuke: "OMG!!! PONY LAND!!!" –starts hyperventilating-

Sakura: O.o

Naomi: O.o

Akina: -steals back 'Bring People Back to Life Thingy-ma-bob' and tapes a 'kick me' sign on Sasuke's back- "He He He!!! Diabolical and EVIL plans make me feel like dancing!" –starts dancing the Macarena-

Sasuke: "What are we doing in this wonderful land full of joy and happiness and and and joy?"

Naomi: Well, the truth is, Kakashi was dragged in here by billions of fangirls trying to take off his mask. He got lost, and now we need to find him.

Sakura: "You should've brought Neji or Hinata here! They have Byukugan and we are just WIMPS!" –starts sobbing on Sasuke's shoulder-

Sasuke: "There, there, Cherry Blossom, Sasuke will make it all better." –pulls Sakura closer to him and combs his hands through her short, pink hair-

Sakura: "Arigato, Sasuke-kun."

Naomi: Neji's a jerk and Hinata is with Naruto probably at the ramen stand and talking about something or other.

Haku: "Here are your cookies Naomi-chan, they are shaped like little flowers and they are snicker doodle cookies, your favorite!" –smiles and admires the dainty, little cookies-

Naomi: OMG! Arigato, Haku! –runs over and hugs him-

Haku: -blushes- "Arigato."

Sasuke: "YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!!"

Naomi: Sasuke, don't take your anger out on other people, it's not nice!

Sasuke: "Hn."

Sakura: "Come on guys! We are wasting time! We need to find Kakashi-sensei before he gets glomped by all those fangirls!"

Naomi: Sakura, trust me, that has already happened. We need to find him before something even worse happens.

Sasuke: "Why does he get billions of fangirls?"

Naomi: Sasuke, you have many fangirls as well.

Sasuke: "Really? Who?"

Naomi: Well, for one, Ino.

Sakura: "INO-PIG? WHERE???" –starts hyperventilating-

Naomi: Come on Sakura, it's time to find Kakashi-sensei!

Sakura: -grumbles-

So now team seven is on a great search to find Kakashi. Where is he now? Find out in Chapter Four!

oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo oo

**A/N: Thankies to Angel-With-Guns and LillyTheMarshmellowQueen for gaining my confidence. You guys are dah best! \ . / (cheerleader)**


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